1.

When your uber goes straight for the crowd and speeds up

2.

Kid: "l can't go to school, I'm sick" Parent: " you're going to school, you're not even coughing" Kid:

3.

Me on Sunday night

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4.

me walking into school with my two hours of sleep

5.

When your cat finds out you're in the bathroom without them

6.

me: I hate country music *Country roads, take me home. To the place I belong* me: WEST VIRGINIAAA

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7.

When you're on the toilet and someone tries to open the door

8.

My teach silently standing behind me

9.

Reasonable explanation and Me

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10.

*Logs into Google on a new device* Google:

11.

Airport worker: sorry, but liquids aren't allowed Me: *drinking a bottle of shampoo in one gulp* Airport worker:

12.

When your uber driver makes an awful joke but you gotta laugh so he doesn't kidnap your ass

13.

Everyone sleeping at 3AM

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14.

Me and my presents

15.

When you invite her over to play Lego but she starts taking her bra off

16.

when you got the brand new light up sketchers in kindergarten

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17.

when u tag your friend in a meme and they responds in 0.5 sec

18.

Dear shower Curtain don't FUCKING touch me BITCH

19.

The new Black Mirror is choose your own destiny. Me: ok i got this Black Mirror: Frosted Flakes or Sugar Puffs Me:

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20.

Voices from Birdbox: You wanna hit this blunt? me:

21.

2018 2 CONFIRMED

22.

The girl i just met

23.

Blind: *touches to read Braille* Braille: "DO NOT TOUCH"

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24.

When my friends say no to grabbing drinks with me because they want to cut down and be more healthy

25.

Mexican

26.

My ear

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27.

So the government is closed enough to not be able to send us our tax returns but open enough to continue to take money from our paychecks?

28.

When you forget to brag to someone about having Airpods for 0.000000001 second

29.

Wife: Can u pick up milk? *lifts gallon* Ya it's easy Guy: Wife: I mean from the store • I would imagine it weighs the Guy. same there too


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