#1

Fun fact: Kids  voting in the  presidential  election are the  same ones  Tide Pods.

#2

When you tell your friend you're  gonna call it a night, but then later  wonder if you should just call it a life

#3

Can't BE JEALOUS  IF NOTHING MAKES YOU HAPPY

#4

When you see someone in public  you don't know very well and you  accidentally make eye contact

#5

I TOLD MY WIFE I FINALLY  HAD FINISHED WRITING MY THEORY OF SPACE

#6

I refuse to fuck my girlfriend. She  gotta wait til we get married. I don't  want her finding out how small my  dick is until its too late.

#7

Tinder needs to stop trying to  have me adopt dogs.-

#8

Oh Hello

#9

Actual footage of me trying to find  a decent

#10

Out here on a monday tryin to get  my dick sucked

#11

your mother is gay

#12

She: bae come over  Stalin: can't I'm sending people to  gulag  She: my parents aren't home  Stalin: I know

#13

when bae asks 'Where  is this relationship going?"

#14

I'm driving with Do Not Disturb  While Driving turned on. I'll see  your message when I get  where I'm going.

#15

Connec One

#16

Wife: Can u pick up milk?  *lifts gallon* Ya it's easy  Guy:  Wife: I mean from the store  • I would imagine it weighs the  Guy.  same there too

#17

Cuckolding can be positive  for some couples, study  says

#18

I HIRED A SNIPER TO PUT ME  OUT OF MY MISERY IF I EVER  DO SOMETHING PAINFULLY  EMBARRASSING

#19

Man Gets Diarrhea on A  Roller Coaster And Splashes  14 People

#20

"Kids today are so weak. Back when I was  young if you got in a car accident you just  died, and you didn't complain"

#21

American  Politics

#22

I'm not An Autist

#23

me deciding what I'm going to be sad  about today:

#24

MOM: Hey Honey, what's that on your computer?  Me: WHATS A COMPUTER

#25

I HIRED A SNIPER TO PUT ME  OUT OF MY MISERY IF I EVER  DO SOMETHING PAINFULLY  EMBARRASSING

#26

*kisses laptop webcam before bed*  goodnight mr fbi man

#27

Funny

#28

*LAUGHS MICROSCOPICALLY*

#29

Baby

#30

*LAUGHS MICROSCOPICALLY*

#31

One Bowling Ball

#32

When she asks:  "will you love me forever?"


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