If you are looking for some funny quotes then you have come to the right place. Here are some of the funny Tumblr quotes which are most liked by users.

1.

Of course women don't work as hard as men... They get it right the first time.
Of course, women don’t work as hard as men… They get it right the first time.

2.

Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.

3.

Whoever finks money doesn't buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account
Whoever finks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account
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4.

Relationships are basically just two people constantly asking each other what they want to eat, unil one of them dies.
Relationships are basically just two people constantly asking each other what they want to eat, unil one of them dies.

5.

When you accidentally open a text message and now have to reply.
When you accidentally open a text message and now have to reply.

6.

Only in college can you go to lecture and not pay attention at all but still be proud of yourself because at least you went
Only in college can you go to lecture and not pay attention at all but still be proud of yourself because at least you went
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7.

I LIKE TO PARTY AND BY PARTY I MEAN HIDE IN MY ROOM AND WATCH NETFLIX
I LIKE TO PARTY AND BY PARTY I MEAN HIDE IN MY ROOM AND WATCH NETFLIX

8.

HOORAY!
HOORAY!

9.

Sometimes i like coffee more
Sometimes i like coffee more
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10.

MAY YOUR COFFEE BE HOT AND YOUR EYELINER BE EVEN
MAY YOUR COFFEE BE HOT AND YOUR EYELINER BE EVEN

11.

DEAR BOYS, One girl at a time. It's a relationship not a group meeting.
DEAR BOYS, One girl at a time. It’s a relationship not a group meeting.

12.

Laughing so hard, no noise coming out, so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
Laughing so hard, no noise coming out, so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
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14.

over-glorified game of fetch
over-glorified game of fetch

15.

I TRY NOT TO LAUGH AT MY OWN JOKES BUT WE ALL KNOW I'M HILARIOUS
I TRY NOT TO LAUGH AT MY OWN JOKES BUT WE ALL KNOW I’M HILARIOUS

16.

My head says, "Who cares?" But then my heart whispers, "You do, stupid..."
My head says, “Who cares?” But then my heart whispers, “You do, stupid…”
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17.

When your friend say you can have a bite of their food? so you take the biggest bite humanly possible.
When your friend say you can have a bite of their food? so you take the biggest bite humanly possible.

18.

You're the type of boy I'd make a sandwich for.
You’re the type of boy I’d make a sandwich for.

19.

1 WON'T BE IMPRESSED WITH TECHNOLOGY UNTIL 1 CAN DOWNLOAD FOOD.
1 WON’T BE IMPRESSED WITH TECHNOLOGY UNTIL 1 CAN DOWNLOAD FOOD.
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20.

BRA OFF. HAIR UP. PJS ON.
BRA OFF. HAIR UP. PJ’S ON.

21.

It's only Tuesday and I'm already 95% done with this week
It’s only Tuesday and I’m already 95% done with this week

22.

When I was a kid "talk to the hand" was the best defense I had.
When I was a kid “talk to the hand” was the best defense I had.

23.

EVERY MORNING
EVERY MORNING
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24.

A relationship is only made for two. But some bitches don't know how to count.
A relationship is only made for two. But some bitches don’t know how to count.

25.

Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.

26.

11 PAINFUL THINGS:
11 PAINFUL THINGS:
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27.

Do you know what would look good on you?
Do you know what would look good on you?

28.

When two people really care about each other, they always find a way to make it work No matter how hard it is.
When two people really care about each other, they always find a way to make it work No matter how hard it is.

29.

And smart too
And smart too
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30.

I may look calm, but in my I've killed you three times.
I may look calm, but in my I’ve killed you three times.

31.

EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!! *answers phone* Haaaai mommy(:
EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!! *answers phone* Haaaai mommy(:

32.

Askhole - A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them
Askhole – A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them

33.

This is how my week goes; Moooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurdsday FridaySaturdaySunday
This is how my week goes;
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34.

Dear sleep
Dear sleep

35.

Checking your phone to see what time it is and checking it again because the first time you weren't paying attention.
Checking your phone to see what time it is and checking it again because the first time you weren’t paying attention.

36.

Don't invite me anywhere last minute I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed
Don’t invite me anywhere last minute I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed
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37.

Kiss me if I'm wrong but dinosaurs still exist right?
Kiss me if I’m wrong but dinosaurs still exist right?

38.

i need to stop imagining scenarios in my head that have a -2% chance of actually happening it's becoming a problem
i need to stop imagining scenarios in my head that have a -2% chance of actually happening it’s becoming a problem

39.

You are narrow , scaling and irrational
You are narrow , scaling and irrational
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40.

mephobia Fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can't handle it and everyone dies.
mephobia¬†: Fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can’t handle it and everyone dies.

41.

That awkward moment when your crush asks you who your crush is
That awkward moment when your crush asks you who your crush is


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